Category: Adoption

Jul 10 2014 1Commentby writekara@gmail.com

Hannah’s Handbook

Posted in Adoption, Travel

10513441_10203398065223998_2494523346143035883_nBesides making sure we remember our toothbrushes and wheelchairs (or more accurately the flight crew remembers to load/unload those!), our most important preparations center on making sure that we’ve planned all that we can for Hannah while we are away.

In my anxious state, I’ve created a “Hannah Handbook” and shared it with the crew of family that will care for Hannah while we’re in China. I thought I’d share the headings for other adoptive families who might be preparing their little ones for an adventure of their own while their parents are in China.

Here’s what we’ve covered:

General Rules: For us, this includes the basics. Be Kind. Climbing and jumping off high objects if for gymnastics. Be a good listener and follow directions. Hannah recently informed my mom that I allow her to look under bathroom stalls “to see who’s under there” so I thought it would be helpful to clarify that we do, in fact, have a few basic rules!

Consequences: This covers how our family handles discipline. We primarily use 1, 2, 3 Magic with an emphasis on Hannah learning self-control. She’s encouraged to go to her room to calm down if needed and we don’t negotiate with whining terrorists.

Routines: This section covers our approach to morning and bedtime routines. I’m hoping little details (like the fact we read 3 books before bed) will help bring some stability and normality to Hannah’s little world while we are gone. There’s also the necessity to use her “magic” hair brush for tangles (or apparently it’s equivalent to cruel and unusual punishment).

Weekly Schedule: The bulk of the document involves a detailed planned schedule for the event. I included addresses, directions, phone numbers, and a couple of pictures for landmarks.

Favorite Outings: I’ve listed our top 3 playgrounds with addresses and their differences along with our library.

In case of illness/emergency: Here I’ve listed our pediatrician’s information along with where our medication/thermometer is located in the house. I’ve also listed vet information for our dog and our neighbor’s contact should their be a local crisis  event.

And last but not least, we’ve created and hung our Summer Fun list. I intentionally added a few activities that I know Hannah can check off during our time in China. She’ll have sleepovers with cousins, a trip to the dentist (she’s unaware this isn’t on everyone else’s summer fun list!), and she’ll make art with her Birdie (aka her grandma). And there’s the MOST exciting event-WELCOME ELI HOME!

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Now that this item (Hannah’s Handbook) is checked off my gigantic to do list, we’re on to packing this weekend!

 

 

 


Jul 09 2014 0Commentby writekara@gmail.com

Celebrating Eli Shower Style

Posted in Adoption, Family

We are so fortunate to be surrounded by so many loving and supportive people who-from the very beginning-have helped us roll Eli home. Before the complete craze of packing takes over our household, I wanted to reflect on a few recent adoption celebrations. The most recent being TODAY! My co-workers and supervisors threw me a surprise adoption shower during our staff meeting! I’m not the easiest person to surprise (or so I’ve been told) but it was so much fun to be completely caught off guard. In addition to the kind words, sweet gifts, and assurances that my recent fear a bird will fly int our plane engine is really irrational, I’m thankful that my co-workers and so many friends and family share our excitement. Prior to embarking on our journey, I naively believed that everyone thought adoption was as awesome as I always have. Everyone doesn’t. It makes me appreciate those that do all the more!

Here’s a picture from our Under the Sea themed shower at UC UCEDD (Shameless plug to LIKE our Facebook to find our more about our work for and with people with disabilities):
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I didn’t blog about it at the time, but my family also threw me a shower in early spring. With a combination of gifts and amazing gently used cloths from so many, many cousins, Eli’s drawers are full! In a couple weeks, we’ll know what actually fits but he’s off to a great start. Here are a few pictures from our family shower.
My mom made a picture book for Eli:
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For our super hero:
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Mernie the Great is excited to become a great-grandmother for the FOURTH time!
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And last but not least-we’re celebrating our almost-the-end-of-the-road by sharing our story! We were featured this week in the Cincinnati Enquirer. If you missed it, here’s the link: http://www.cincinnati.com/story/news/2014/07/06/mason-couple-dwarfism-china-adoption/12277187/

As you can see, Hannah was pretty amused with her press coverage:
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Just 10 days until we leave!
The countdown is on!


Jul 04 2014 0Commentby writekara@gmail.com

Two words we’ve been waiting to say!

Posted in Adoption, Fundraiser

Our flights are booked (all 3 of them!).

Hotels are reserved (also 3!).

We’re braving one train and with every step of this adventure planning, my mind returns to one conclusion:We can.not.wait. to meet our boy.

In the last few days, I’ve made his first doctor’s appointments, filled out school paperwork, and set up his afterschool arrangements for the three days that I work outside the home. We’ve made progress in packing and have stocked a small infirmary to take with us. We’re list-making maniacs! If it wasn’t enough to plan for our travels, we’ve also got Hannah’s plans for our trip finalized. She’ll be with a star-studded collection of aunts, Birdies, cousins, and loved ones. We hope she’ll barely notice we’re absent but we know that’s unlikely. We’re recording a few video snippets of messages for her to see us when we might be unable to Facetime (due to the need to sleep in China!). In the event you were plotting a ransack, we’ve also got the house covered-with armed guards and/or a diligent crew of house sitters. And we can’t forget about grumpy  sweet Obie Nugget. He’ll be under the care and supervision of Birdie (my mom).

It’s been a busy but miraculous few days. After nearly 10 rejections for adoption grants, we’d begun to strategize and regroup to determine the best way to finance the final portion of our adoption. From the start, we’ve expressed our belief that there are many, many families who can give a loving home to a child in need. Most families who can afford another child (including a child with a disability) need assistance to pay the large upfront costs of adoption. We often hear from people, “I’d love to adopt but it’s too expensive.” It is expensive and very very few people can afford adoption in its entirety. It’s a leap of faith and one that’s not intended for everyone. Our family though tends to find a way/make a way. Building our family has always demanded courage. We’ve swallowed our pride and focused on our faith in interdependence of a community to make a BIG difference…and the results have been amazing. We’ve been overcome by the support, generosity, and love that has been showered on our family. We are so very thankful. From individuals to large organizations-we have been blessed. After submitting applications months ago and following up for weeks (often daily), we’ve been approved for five adoption grants in the last week!

And finally…we can say the two words we’ve been waiting to say….We are….

FULLY FUNDED! 

By the end of next week, our adoption fees will be paid!

Our hearts are already so full and so ready to meet Eli and bring him home. It is an incredible gift that we can embark on this journey knowing that the financial portion of our adventure is fulfilled. We’ve worked hard. Our friends and families have worked hard and given so selflessly. I’ve kept Eli’s dignity and integrity at the forefront of my mind in each and every effort to fundraise. I’m proud of what we’ve accomplished and to celebrate-we’d like to share a video we’ve received of Eli celebrating!

Here’s Eli blowing out his birthday candles we sent to the orphanage. I love his smile in the very first, few seconds. I’ve watched it round abouts 7,000 times. See you soon Eli:)

 

 

 

 


Jun 23 2014 0Commentby writekara@gmail.com

It’s Wing Week!

Posted in Adoption, Fundraiser

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We are excited to hold our Buffalo Wild Wings fundraisers this week!

First up is our local Mason event, which is TONIGHT! We’ll be there with friends and family for an extended dinner. Come hungry and bring your crew! If you still need a flier, let us know. They are also available in the sidebar. Just remember you select the correct location.

On Friday of this week (June 27), we’ll be down in Frankfort (my hometown!) to celebrate with friends and family there. We’d love to see you if you can make it out. If not, you can help by spreading the word. People can dine at anytime for both events-lunch, dinner, or in between!

See you tonight for some wings and fun!

Don’t forget your flier! Mason’s flier—–>BW3sMasonFundraiser

Frankfort’s flier——>FrankfortBWWFundraiser


Jun 16 2014 0Commentby writekara@gmail.com

We have TRAVEL APPROVAL!

Posted in Adoption, Travel

TA

Just got the call and we have TRAVEL APPROVAL (TA)! The letter from China saying we can come pick up Eli arrived to our agency this afternoon! They’re confirming our Consulate Appointment (CA) now and we should have that by tomorrow! The CA just tells us our last appointment in China so that determines when we can come home. We’ll need that information to book our flights but we’re fairly certain that we’ll meet Eli on July 21.<——It doesn’t yet feel real to type that sentence!

There are round abouts 1.7 million details to work out now that we finally KNOW the dates-there are flights, hotels, and care for Hannah while we are gone. I’ll also be making calls (again) to all the grants we are still awaiting word from to see if we can get their final decision asap. We need to be fully funded well before we depart because our fees have to be wired there in advance. We’re hoping that our BW3 fundraiser nights are successful and now they’ll be even more fun as a send-off of sorts for China!

More updates coming this week but for now-time to celebrate! we’re coming soon Eli!


Jun 16 2014 0Commentby writekara@gmail.com

That Sister, That Dad, That Family

Posted in Adoption, Family

It’s been a big week for our family-big emotions and big milestones.

We’ve celebrated Hannah’s 4th birthday.

We’ve laid to rest my Aunt Anne.

And today-we celebrate Father’s Day.

And through everything, there’s the waiting….waiting to be released from this nearly year-long wait to go pick up Eli and bring him home.

In good times, it’s sometimes hard to accept that Eli’s missed another moment with our family. His sister’s birthday party was so much fun. It was a turtle-tastic, cousin/friend-filled day of bouncing, mutagen-making in misting rain, and a 4-year-old who is already so proud to be Eli’s sister. As we’ve prepared his room, Hannah helped to carefully set up his toys. She’ll occasionally borrow something but it’s almost always right back where she found it. She’s excited for him to sit next to her in the van and she talks with such pride about her brother in China. Eli’s got quite a sister waiting!

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And today-we celebrate the father Eli has waiting. I always knew Adam would be an amazing father but he’s exceeded even this idealist’s greatest hopes. Our house laughs alot. Plays alot. And works hard. Adam never backs down to a challenge-whether it be Hannah’s birds’ nest of a hair most mornings before he takes her to school or her more dramatic not-so-pleasant moments that require all hands on deck. I’m so thankful to share this adventure with my best friend. I can’t wait to see him in his element with Eli.

And then there’s the family Eli has waiting. We are so fortunate to be so loved. Eli’s cousins sometimes bring up where he’ll fall in their ages and what it will be like to have him join their fun. His aunts and uncles ask about our progress and his updates. His grandparents have been learning about China and are ready to expand their grandkid fleet. His Mamaw and Papaw will even be joining us on the journey to bring Eli home!

From across the world, he’s loved by many. And one of those many was my Aunt Anne. She was so excited about our new addition. I last saw her at my family’s adoption shower this spring. She didn’t feel well but she was there. At our sometimes loud, boistrous family gatherings, my Aunt Anne has always found a moment to talk with just me. As a little one sometimes in casts, I remember our chats when most of the kids in my family were outside or downstairs (which is the equivalent to the top of Mt. Everest when you’re in a cast). She kept up with my school, my swimming, what I was reading…and just me. She was a thoughtful, strong, and loving woman. We’ll all miss her. I’m sorry she won’t get to meet Eli but he’ll know the love she’s cultivated in our family.

We’re hoping for a slightly less eventful week with just ONE major milestone-travel approval!

 


Jun 09 2014 0Commentby writekara@gmail.com

Fundraising update and an invitation to join us for wings!

Posted in Adoption

We’re in the final stages of this long, long wait. Any day now-we’ll receive travel approval, or TA, from China. With that approval, our last chunk of funds will be due and we’ll be free to go to China and *bring Eli home*. I usually consider myself a relatively patient person but this waiting game is a tough one! We’re not only waiting for TA but also to hear final word from more than TWELVE grants! Many of the granting organization prefer to wait until you are very, very close to traveling. I’m guessing they strategize a bit to see if they can wait out some people who will find funds elsewhere. It’s not necessarily a negative thing-with the end result being more children brought home to families-but nonetheless, it’s stressful! Like so many families, we can afford to welcome another child into our home but the upfront costs for adoption are a major challenge. Still, we’re compelled by a belief that adoption IS possible for diverse families. We’ve applied to grants who also support this belief and understanding that the upfront costs are often the barrier between a child who needs a home and a family who wants to welcome them. We’ve learned a great deal from the grant process and I intend to reflect on that for other adoptive families in a future post. Last week, we received one rejection and one approval! Just twelve more answers to go!

While we wait, we’ll be making one, final fundraising push. We are so very thankful to our friends and family who have helped us beyond measure. It has been difficult to ask for help but it’s also been an incredible feeling to experience the support, generosity, and love shown by so many. If you’ve donated, shared our story, or wished us luck-thank-you. We’ve got a few things up our sleeves in these last few weeks. We’ll share them here and via Facebook. We hope you’ll help us make this final push a success. If you’ve supported us from the beginning, feel free to help us by sharing our story and more importantly-Eli’s story-with your networks. We’ve made so many new connections through this journey and hope to make even more before our plane lifts off for China.

So…here’s a preview of two fun events before we leave!

Buffalo Wild Wings is one of our family’s favorite restaurants. The servers and staff at our local Mason BWW’s have always been so friendly. They know Hannah’s name and even her favorite ninja turtle:) The management staff has agreed to host a fundraising night for our family Monday, June 23rd. 10% of all dine-in tickets will be donated to our Adopt Together account. All you need is THIS FLYER—-> (BW3sMasonFundraiser) to have your ticket included in our total. Our family will be there in the evening but lunch, snacks, dinner, and in-between are included in the event! We still feel somewhat new to the Mason community so please help us spread the news by sharing the flyer with friends and family.

BW3sMasonFlyer

 

If that’s not awesome enough, there’s more wing fun to be had! We’re also in negotiations with the Frankfort Buffalo Wild Wings to have a China send-off night in my hometown. I am so excited about this opportunity and will share the date and that flyer as soon as it’s available.

 


Jun 04 2014 2Commentsby writekara@gmail.com

The most difficult letter I’ve ever written…

Posted in Adoption

Almost 4 years ago, I jumped on the mom blogger bandwagon to write a few letters to my then-baby Hannah. I revisited this one and this one today and smiled as I recounted our nighttime routines and how much I worried about leaving tiny Hannah when I returned to work. I remember these letters flowing easily. I imagined Hannah reading them as a teenager and rolling her eyes and then-maybe…with some luck-reading them as an adult with amusement. The letters weren’t an introduction. I write as if I’m actively getting to know Hannah, which I was.

Last week, Adam and I sat together to write another sort of letter. We wrote a letter to our son, an introduction of our family, and an announcement to Eli that he has a family and we’re coming-SOON-to bring him home. It’s safe to say, I’ve written A-L-O-T. Over ten years of college papers, a dissertation, and several years as a freelance writer. Still, I can say with certainty that this was the most challenging letter I’ve ever written.

How do you introduce yourself to someone you love so dearly but have never met?

How would you describe your family….to someone who will join it!?

How do you tell a little boy from a million miles away that you know it will be scary and sad for him to leave everything he’s known…but you will help him in any way that you can?

We had 600 words and 10 pictures to answer these and so many other questions.

In addition to the lofty questions, there are the practical ones! We don’t want to scare him or think that if we mention we love to swim and he hates it that he’ll have to swim! We wanted to use this opportunity to prepare him for this monumental transition but it was also a maddening battle of second-guessing. What if Obie’s bat-like ears and always-showing teeth terrify him? What was the best caption to describe our wheelchairs? Is having your own room a good thing if you’ve always slept in a room with other children?

So many questions and so many answers that we won’t learn until we get to know our sweet boy. In the end, we tried to capture a few bits of information about our family that might help begin to build his bridge to a new world. We shared how he has a little sister who cannot wait to meet him. We shared that he’ll go to school, can play games/sports if he likes, and is already loved by so many. Our letter was translated late last week and we’ve been told, today is the day. Eli will receive our letter and see our pictures. He will finally know that he has a family. He is so loved and we’re coming very soon to bring him home.

 

Since Eli can’t yet read, we know he’ll learn a great deal about us by looking at the picture book we included with our letter. Here are a few (not all) of the pictures, we chose to send. We also included a few pictures of family members and our home.:

Photo1 Photo2 Photo3 Photo4 Photo5 Photo7
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May 08 2014 2Commentsby writekara@gmail.com

Happy Birthday Eli!

Posted in Adoption

Elibirthday1Last week-on the other side of the world-our son turned 7!

I woke up that morning with a collision of excitement, uncertainty, and a little sadness that we’re not yet together.

We’d arranged to send a cake to Eli’s orphanage. With cakes, care packages and well-almost everything with adoption!-there’s uncertainty. You’re never certain it reached it’s destination-Eli! Sometimes you receive word that the package or cake was delivered. Sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you receive pictures. Often, you don’t.

I reminded myself that an update for us would be nice but what mattered the most was Eli’s big day. I just hoped tha
t he felt LOVED and special.

Last night, I received an update from the woman who arranged to send the cake to Eli’s orphanage. She said she’d send the pictures “tonight”. I’m never clear if people mean China-time, Ohio-time, or Utah-time (where our agency is). So naturally-I checked my e-mail incessantly last night. When Obie needed his typical 4 am stroll, I saw our pictures had arrived! I wanted to open them with Adam and Hannah so I waited until we were all awake.

After 2 computers, 3 browsers, and several phone apps, nothing worked to open the files! The file format was written in Chinese and it seemed nothing would open it. After a series of roundabout attempts, I signed up for what appears to be a Chinese version of something G-mail-like. It has a Google Drive-like service that had the same file type as my attachment. It worked! These pictures are some of the most amazing gifts I’ve ever received!

Look at his sweet face!

He looks happy and I was overcome with appreciation. Thankfulness that he’s come into our world. Thankful we are getting so much closer to bringing him home. Thankful to the many, many people who have made our journey possible thus far and incredible thankfulness to the kindness of the nannies who have cared for him and will continue to do so until we can get him home. Adoption is such a tricky collision of emotions. I’m all at once overwhelmingly sad that this is in all likelihood the first time his birthday has been recognized and at the same time-so excited (and eager!) for what’s to come. I notice all of the little changes since the last time we saw pictures (in November!). His teeth have grown in! His little mohawk is new!

As I look at the little faces surrounding Eli, I can’t help but to wonder about their futures. Is someone coming for them? Eli has grown up around these children-these nannies. He will miss them so deeply. For this reason, too, these pictures are such an invaluable gift. Someday I’ll link our memories-his of a special day with a tasty cake and mine of wishing and wanting a little boy to know much he is already very much loved.

Happy Birthday Eli!


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Birthdaycake

Birthdaysmiles


Apr 24 2014 0Commentby writekara@gmail.com

Adoption Talk: How to ask those burning questions

Posted in Adoption

While Eli’s not yet home, we’re already familiar with a few of these questions. This is a pretty hilarious take on how to ask what you’re wondering in a more friendly way. And actually-it seems to apply for a few different topics!

IF YOU WOULDN’T SAY IT ABOUT A BOOB JOB… from Rain City Church on Vimeo.